Friday, December 20, 2013

Who's Your Daddy????

Thursday's Thought



It's crazy how so many seem to believe and accept this idea that a child and family doesn't need a father/daddy in the home.  How sad and delusional.  It's sad because every child raised without that father/daddy in the home statistically faces a more difficult road to success.  It's delusional because most times, government agencies, family and friends are used to replace what was claimed to not be needed.

I coach high school sports and have come across so many young men lacking a father in the home and had mothers pretty much look to the coaching staff to 'teach their sons to be men'.  Many have been in financial situations where they are dependent on the government to feed, house, educate and raise their children.  Then you hear them talk about their decision to have another child out of wedlock because the first child deserved a sibling or they always wanted to have their kids close together.  WTF?  How about wanting your child to have an active and engaged father?  What about your child or children being raised in a home not dependent on government?  What about providing your child the best possible opportunity to be successful by providing them with a stable loving home environment.

It becomes a matter of what came first, the chicken or the egg, when examining if society has lead our dysfunctional policies or if dysfunctional policies have created our current society.  Regardless of the order, I believe that too many of our current policies have long lasting and negative impacts on the idea of families and raising children.  The government has supplanted the father in the home by jailing, killing, and branding men unnecessary.  I mean who needs a man when the government will send me a check?  Who needs a daddy when I got sisters and girlfriends?  Who needs a father when the government will tell me right from wrong and the police will protect us?

Now I am not saying any of these things are not welcomed and needed in society and in the realm of child rearing.  What I am saying is that while they are used to fill the void left by the lack of a man being around, nothing listed above can truly replace a FATHER!

DUFGTBAF!!!

Wednesday, December 4, 2013

What's Best

Wednesday's Wise Words



It's crazy to me how natural it is for people to make their reality the standard.  In a world where we are increasingly dwelling in 'right and wrong' and not appreciated differences, so much of our division comes from people wanting to insist that how they were raised and what they believe is what's best and what's right.  I understand completely that I am an opinionated individual myself but one of the things I strive to do is always search for what is best.  Not so much right or wrong nor what I am used to or accustomed to, but instead what is the best way to do something.  I wish more people approached their decisions the same way.

I say this in the realm of DIFGTBAF because I have witnessed and identified that one of the systemic causes to this epidemic of Baby Daddy and Baby Mommas is this belief that they, as children of single parent households, turned out just fine so it is okay to raise their children in the same situation.  That is an idiotic line of reason in my opinion!  This is not some inditement on how anyone turned out coming from a single parent home.  This is about what is the best for your child!

There are a number of individuals that have gone on to become great people and do great things that come from single parent homes.  There are also terrible people that have done terrible things that come from two parent homes.  Neither of those facts should make us ignore the numbers, and study after study shows children raised in homes with engaged mothers and fathers have far greater chances of becoming successful members of society across multiple facets of life.  So now matter how great of a single mom or dad you are, there is just no replacing an engaged and loving mother and father in the home.  PERIOD!

I have a high school classmate that is currently a single father.  I don't know the particulars of his situation as far as if he is full custody or what, but he appears to do a great job being a father.  He would often comment on posts I would make about the importance of marriage and children having a mother and father in a defensive manner as if I was putting his effort and work down.  I tried explaining to him that I believed he was doing a great job as a father but I pointed out something to him that I am not sure he ever thought about.  He is raising a daughter.  He is raising a future mother of children.  I asked him how will she ever learn and now how a man should treat her as a husband if she never sees it at home?  How will she know what unconditional love between a man and woman is if it is never modeled in front of her on a consistent basis to allow the level of learning gained through emersion?  You see, his focus isn't on what's best for his daughter.  His focus is on his ability to do HIS best for his daughter and because it is HIS best, that it is the best.

We should all strive to do what IS best in all facets of life.  True we must make the best of circumstances and situations but that should never stop of from searching out for what's best.

Monday, December 2, 2013

Home Skooling

Monday's Meaningful Minute


DIFGTBAF!  So for today's home schooling activity we are working on fine motor skills with my 3 year old.  I print pages from offline at least 2-3 days a week with him in addition to his art class he takes and gymnastics.

The wife and I decided to homeschool our son since the pre-school our daughter attended decided he was too young for the older group (they do a morning and afternoon split) class because of his birthday falling in February.  With the class being a co-op program, we were able to see first hand that he was more than capable of being with the 'older' kids and didn't want to slow his development so we decided to home school.  It's great because it's no stress, no forced work and it is great bonding time.  Most children want to make their parents happy and tend to excel in whatever you show interest in.  So far, both of our children have a joy for learning that we sincerely hope to kindle and watch grow.

Back to the fine motor skills.  So I printed out the sheets from kids learning station which is my site of preference.  One of the things that I do to get more out of sheets like these are to have him use different color crayons to trace multiple lines to get more practice per sheet.  It also helps to reinforce his colors and afterwards we can count how many lines.  We completed two worksheets and he ran to go show his mommy his work and take a break before completing the other two.

Times like these are priceless to me!  After we worked on the first two sheets he came a gave me a big hug and told me he loved me before running off to show his mommy.  So for a meaningful minute today, take some time with your children.  Each minute that passes is another one you will never get back.

 DIFGTBAF