What's Best

Wednesday's Wise Words

It's crazy to me how natural it is for people to make their reality the standard.  In a world where we are increasingly dwelling in 'right and wrong' and not appreciated differences, so much of our division comes from people wanting to insist that how they were raised and what they believe is what's best and what's right.  I understand completely that I am an opinionated individual myself but one of the things I strive to do is always search for what is best.  Not so much right or wrong nor what I am used to or accustomed to, but instead what is the best way to do something.  I wish more people approached their decisions the same way.

I say this in the realm of DIFGTBAF because I have witnessed and identified that one of the systemic causes to this epidemic of Baby Daddy and Baby Mommas is this belief that they, as children of single parent households, turned out just fine so it is okay to raise their children in the same situation.  That is an idiotic line of reason in my opinion!  This is not some inditement on how anyone turned out coming from a single parent home.  This is about what is the best for your child!

There are a number of individuals that have gone on to become great people and do great things that come from single parent homes.  There are also terrible people that have done terrible things that come from two parent homes.  Neither of those facts should make us ignore the numbers, and study after study shows children raised in homes with engaged mothers and fathers have far greater chances of becoming successful members of society across multiple facets of life.  So now matter how great of a single mom or dad you are, there is just no replacing an engaged and loving mother and father in the home.  PERIOD!

I have a high school classmate that is currently a single father.  I don't know the particulars of his situation as far as if he is full custody or what, but he appears to do a great job being a father.  He would often comment on posts I would make about the importance of marriage and children having a mother and father in a defensive manner as if I was putting his effort and work down.  I tried explaining to him that I believed he was doing a great job as a father but I pointed out something to him that I am not sure he ever thought about.  He is raising a daughter.  He is raising a future mother of children.  I asked him how will she ever learn and now how a man should treat her as a husband if she never sees it at home?  How will she know what unconditional love between a man and woman is if it is never modeled in front of her on a consistent basis to allow the level of learning gained through emersion?  You see, his focus isn't on what's best for his daughter.  His focus is on his ability to do HIS best for his daughter and because it is HIS best, that it is the best.

We should all strive to do what IS best in all facets of life.  True we must make the best of circumstances and situations but that should never stop of from searching out for what's best.